boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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