garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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