I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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