you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
