So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
