Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
