tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
