I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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