whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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