I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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