I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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