I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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