i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
