so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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