I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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