yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
