i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just puked most of my soul out..
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