Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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