yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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