it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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