I'd wear matching sweaters with you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize