Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
