Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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