I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
