WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
