My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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