hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize