Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i out mim tonsoeep
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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