I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize