he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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