eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
