he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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