Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize