chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
