god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
