About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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