Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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