I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize