He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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