using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
