update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
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I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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