I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
