We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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