Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
