id be glad to
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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