You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
