no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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