Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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