ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
