Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How's work?
Spinning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
