I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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