Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
