walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
