Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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