wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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