I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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