just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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