they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
