I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize