Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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