ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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