Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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