Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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