I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
