so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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